song :: ceremony :: sustenance

mystery school for mamas

The lēmniscāte is an ancient symbol, an archetypal pattern, an invocation of the myriad dualities of the world. Lēmniscāta, is this symbol as experienced from the female / feminine perspective. I have been taught, and believe wholeheartedly, that mothering - from being born, to menarche, to birth, from moonpause to eldership and finally becoming ancestor - is the central image/reality needed in world soul repair.

nourish mother :: nourish world

What if you are only responsible, only powerful . . .
to heal?

What if healing isn't about new age practices, or talk therapy, affirmations,
mindset shift, or any other act of will.

What if healing in this traumatic age is actually your birthright /obligation
to engage relationally in ceremonial resolution/prevention of all the traumas,
big and small in an ancient and innovative,
powerful and efficient community process?

The persistent and unresolved rupture that so often follows trauma
in our current world is not a universal and necessary reality.
Traumatic rupture itself is part of the reality of human suffering
and also of crafting resilience.

All the lasting traumatic damage is the result,
not of trauma-medicine itself,
but of our current dominant paradigm –
its deconstruction and removal of the Indigenous
and embodied ceremonial arts
practiced by initiated individuals within communities as a whole.
Our global ancestral cultures and the ceremonies that went with them
were protective and must be restored
with care and authenticity . . .
if we want to move through this apocalypse.

What if you are not to blame?

When you read memes calling to you be a more peaceful parent (partner/friend/community-member) and you cringe either a little or a lot . . .
I see you.

When you want to host a naming ceremony but stop for fear of being called an appropriator or a fraud even when you come from lineages too, I want more for you.

When you read other's feeds about how wonderful and juicy their beloved partner is
and you wonder if you should get divorced . . .
I get it.

When you hit that threshold of overwhelm, that seems to come sooner with each new day as a mama, and react with gruffness or anger . . .
I see you.

When you wake in the night, yet another time to nurse, and your instinct isn't love and care, but frustration and rage, and you go a little more into hiding . . .
I stand for you.

When you read the memes about how a woman must be peaceful at all costs during pregnancy and birth or her child will be traumatized, and you shrink in shame . . .
I weep for you.

The world is full of advice and demands on mothers,
using your most precious children as weapons
to keep you paralyzed and hiding.

I am now entering my eldership, after a long incubation in silent and sacred unwinding of the teachings of my elders. It is time for me to speak, to share, to stand in my medicine and my place as re-membering knowledge keeper.

This work is what my elders and the earth and cosmos have trained me to facilitate. A from-the-ground-up re-membering of the world ceremonies that can repair this world. The kind of repair that generates new genuinely regenerative paradigms.

I am grateful to be among the uncertain, those who humbly know they are not of/from perfect lineage, but who turn to the teachings they do have with humility, to the earth herself, to fragments, and to exile without abandoning their obligation to serve in these times of polarization and strife.

somatic earth wisdom 

You are a mama who is willing to be honest, a m(other) who knows that the female body is an original instruction, but who also knows that her self and mothering is mixed-up from generations of trauma and cultural confusion. This program will support you in an intensive year of healing and learning the basics of earth-based mothering. After this major restoration phase, you will begin to feel more resilience and your whole past present and future will unfold into a new mythology, one where the ruptures are beginning to be mended, where a new story is emerging and your somatic-earth-cosmos relation begins to become palpable. Your work as a mother - whether giving birth, adopting a child, integrating yourself into a blended family, preparing your child for their coming of age, or mentoring your grown children and community as an elder - this program is about re-membering an "ancient future" that is full of humble knowing, among-ness, and personal integrity. 

restoring :: resilient :: restorying :: rhythmic

In order to have a resilient nervous system you will first need to anchor yourself in a visceral sense of your ideals and intentions. These will naturally lead to a settling of your nervous system and slowly to the awareness of each of your worries. As you gently shift between these two poles with all your senses, intellect and spirit, you begin to allow integration of the two poles through the wisdom of the body and its archetypal healing motions. You find permanent resolution, and it feels good.

As you recover resilience and your own authentic story, you also begin to rest in inquiry rather than seek answers. You begin to recover ancestral & relational kin connections that are important to you. You even have a sense of the universal ingredients of celebration, ritual and ceremony and turn to the Earth herself to remember the Sacred. Its all there for you. As you do this you begin to make sense of all the outside information and advice, and gain confidence in your own intuitions and knowing as a woman and mother.

After addressing a critical mass of your smaller personal traumas, you deepen your re-membering ancestral ways, connecting to the earth and cosmos, and making kin-community, you are in a place to serve. You get support when you need it and offer it when it's needed. You need fewer and fewer "rules" and instead embody philosophies, principles and teachings. Threshold passages are smoother now as  you cycle back through the stages and support the return to rhythm of the world.

A side-efffect of recovering a resilient nervous system is the meaning that emerges along the way. First you identify and clarify your survival story, the one in which you struggle, are overwhelmed, confused or defeated and slowly as each rupture in your being resolves, you piece together a new and heroic personal & ancestral  mythology. You then pass your story on to your children and are able to help them know their own true and meaningful story. You are a part of recovering and passing down the ancestral wisdom of your people - even if your lineage has been broken.

As you begin to move toward and into cosmic-psycho-somatic rhythm you will begin to notice the myriad thresholds that offer themselves to you, that call to you, that require response from you. This is both an acquired skill, a restored ability, a practice, and an obligation . . .