I devote so much of my life to understanding how to restore myself and my connection to my cultures – since I was first sat down by my elders and given my obligations (and lifetime puzzles lol).
Obligations are not to be shared, but lived. One of my elders speaks of walking wisdom into the world – one step at a time.
What do you do when lines of eldership are broken and fragmented?
Trauma Resolution: The first step is in addressing the biggest and the smallest traumas in your life in a profound and powerful way, to repair your relationship to your body and its incredible somatic wisdom. I have a secret: your body knows what the elders/ancestors told you, even if you don’t. Your obligation is imprinted in your DNA. It’s all there, but you need to be responsible and do your own work before making “claims.” Your mission will be a mystery, not a reward. It will be a burden, not a right. So slow down sister… there is time. If you really want to serve, you will be patient and attend to your own work first.
Lineage Repair: Next you need to step into the world, with your core resilience, and begin to listen IN COMMUNITY, for your personal mythology that includes re-membering eldership, obligation, relationality and reciprocity. You will learn to notice the things that remind you of who you are and rather than stopping there, you take these thing with reverence and care and beseech with all the grief that goes with the loss. You beg, in your sacred cleansing weeping, for a glimmer of where this spark leads. You go back, find the ruptures in your own lineage and restore them You then turn to the thing/person/image/teaching . . . and offer your gratitude. You maintain your place in the rule of reciprocity.
Humility: Only then do you move forward, holding that nascent new seedling of an obligation. You carry and untangle and measure yourself against it. You listen to every doubt knowing each is a little teacher. You stop racing. You quit the frenzy. You find a kind of knowing that is beyond doubt. It becomes one with doubt to produce a humility that is not a badge but a mundane-ness. This takes time and commitment and has a quality of humility. From this place you can cross thresholds. You invite them rather than shy away from them . . . You recognize fear as a gateway to truth and grief as a segue into gratitude.